New Swingers Help And Advice
New Swingers Help And Advice welcome to the lifestyle; I'm so glad you have found me, Rosie Kay, your very own swinging lifestyle educator and open relationship coach.
I'm here to bring you, my dear readers, my smart swinger know-how, which will answer your concerns and questions surrounding Ethical non-monogamy, swinging, open and poly relationships.
When I started swinging, I didn't have me. I found little to no help on what it's really like to be a female swinger, or what to expect when you open up your relationship up for the first time. This lack of help was one reason I started thiskindagirl.
I share advice on meeting swingers, playing with swingers, and getting familiar with the rules of the lifestyle.
Before you take your clothes off, visit a swinger event or ask the cute women next door if they want to join in the fun, stop!
There's a lot you need to know!
Starting swinging can be very daunting indeed; going from a first-time fantasy to being confident in couple swapping isn't always an easy transition. There are so many questions, so many possibilities.
How do you find couples to swing with? Will swinging ruin your relationship? How can you get involved if you are a single person? Who can I talk to about swinging? Where do I find swinger clubs? What exactly is swinging?
Do any of these sound familiar?
If you have been conducting your search on the internet (which let's face it, everyone does), you will have stumbled across genuine swingers sites, newspaper articles, hookup sites, dating sites and christ knows what! Granted, some of them are helpful, but the vast majority of these sites aren't. They seem to offer a one size fits all approach to swinging, and that my friends is not how swinging works!
You may be surprised to know that this is how I started; by searching online. I then decided to start thiskindagirl.com because of the lack of genuine, practical, heartfelt and realistic information.
When I started swinging, I didn't have me. I found little to no help on what it's really like to be a female swinger, or what to expect when you open up your relationship for the first time. There was no practical information for single girls or guys.
How To Overcome Insecurities and Feelings Of Jealousy.
Ten years ago, I would never have thought I would be in a swinger relationship, let alone be in a position to offer my expertise! Now I'm sharing my advice, helping and supporting others on their journey.
As a new swinger, I found that many of the challenges I faced, I had to overcome alone. Over time, I have discovered and developed my own methods to be a successful swinger. You won't find these techniques anywhere else as they are rooted in personal past experiences, my knowledge of human behaviour, and the swinger situations I have been involved in; some happy experiences, some not so much.
To say that I have gone through a complete transformation is something of an understatement.
Eight years ago, I would never have thought I would be in a swinger relationship, let alone be in a position to offer my expertise! Now I'm sharing my advice, helping and supporting others on their journey.
I want to share my knowledge with you, in this post, New Swingers Help And Advice.
You may be surprised to learn that getting involved in the swinger action on a physical level is only one part of the key to my success. What has really helped me, is learning how to understand my emotions and those around me. The art of being a successful swinger isn't purely about finding people to have sex with.
Navigating the lifestyle successfully is also based on your outlook, confidence, how in touch with your emotions you are, and your self-esteem.
You can't learn these things by simply turning up at a club and hoping for the best, but with my help and guidance, I will transform you from a nervous newbie into a sophisticated swinger.
You want results, and I have the answers!
Is Swinging Right For You?
There is an awful lot of information tailored towards straight heterosexual couples wanting to swap with other heterosexual couples when you look online. This is great, but what if you identify differently, are bisexual or gay or want to meet single people? Perhaps you aren't sure who you want to meet, and are open to suggestions, new ideas and fantasies?
The art of being a successful swinger isn't purely about finding people to have sex with.
I don't need to tell you that no two people are ever the same, and why you choose to start swinging can be very different to why other people or why your partner wants to start swinging. I aim to help you uncover what you would like to get out of swinging and consider all options available to you. There are many ways to be Ethically Non Monogamous; part of the beauty of being human is that we are all individual and all have individual desires.
My content is suitable for both couples and singles, whether you are a man or a woman. Regardless of your relationship dynamics, sexual preferences or how you identify; we are all different, I can help, guide and advise you.
Common Fears Amongst New Swingers
I have been there; walking towards a swingers club, absolutely terrified, nervous excitement pumping through my body. The nerves, the anxiety, the fear of the unknown, the what-ifs and the overwhelming sense of 'Oh my god, I can't believe I'm doing this!'
Who will I talk to? How do I start a conversation? And what if I don't enjoy it? How does it work?
If this scenario is one that you have experienced, or have imagined, I'm here to tell you that you are not alone.
Overcoming the initial fear of going to the club can be challenging, and then once you get inside, you tend to have another load of unanswered questions that will come flooding in! It can be quite overwhelming!
If you have never swung before and it's your first time with your partner, it can be difficult to know how you may react. The surge of emotions that you will feel may well surprise you. I will help prepare you for this by sharing my experiences and teaching you how to accept, address, and move forward by embracing the emotions you experience when swinging.
Some of the most common concerns and popular questions amongst new swinger are;
- Will swinging ruin my relationship?
- Is swinging healthy for my relationship?
- How do I overcome jealousy when swinging?
- How can I overcome insecurity when swinging?
When I first started swinging, each one of these thoughts passed through my mind. Each one I had to learn to understand, embrace and overcome.
I will help you with;
- Discussing swinging with your partner- established partner or a prospective one
- Understanding what swinging is
- Discovering how swinging can be healthy for your relationship
- Setting Boundaries
- Creating the right mindset for successful swinging,
- Overcoming jealousy issues
- Gaining a deeper insight into what swinging entails,
- Swinger problem solving
- Support to overcome fears and become a more confident swinger
New Swinger Commonly Asked Questions
I understand that if you are new to the swinger scene or perhaps have been curious about it for a while, then chances are you will have a list of questions that you want to ask!
That's why I am here! To help you discover swinging and gain a deeper understanding of what the swinger lifestyle is all about. I am asked fairly frequently 'how can I talk to my partner about swinging?' I believe that by gaining an insight into your relationship and situation, on a one to one basis, I can work to help introduce swinging into your relationship in a way that is neither threatening nor intrusive to your established relationship.
How Do I Find Swingers?
Over the years, I have helped many single guys get into the swinger scene and offered them help and advice for boosting their chances of success
Although there are many sites, clubs, parties, groups and adult apps available out there, not all are suitable for your needs! The last thing you want to do is sign up to a site or buy tickets to a party that isn't going to provide you with what or who you are looking for.
Let me use my inside, intimate knowledge of the swinger scene and point you in the direction of the places that will help you on your journey. From swinger parties to clubs to virtual events, you can discover places that specialise in single male swingers to kink to couples only.
Can I Swing If I Am Single?
I've been a single swinger. I know what it's like to navigate the swinger world if you are flying solo! I know the problems faced by single swingers, the fears you may have and the difficulty of finding safe, trustworthy people to swing with. Over the years, I have helped many single guys get into the swinger scene and offered them help and advice for boosting their chances of success. It's one thing to attend a party, but being successful in that setting is different altogether.
With my help, I will support you and guide you through the process. A lot of single guys don't even get a look in with swinger couples! Luckily for you, I know exactly what couples are looking for in single guys. It doesn't matter how you are looking to get involved; my advice can be applied to all situations.
Help Getting Started In The Swinger Scene
You may well decide to sign up to a swinger dating site and make a profile, or perhaps need advice on which to choose. There is an awful lot out there from free sites that are rather basic, to the sites such as sdc which offer an app alongside the regular site. Knowing what to write and what kind of pictures you should upload is so essential.
I see hundreds of swinger accounts every week, ranging from concise, well-written profiles with lovely photos and plenty of details to profiles that are a bit on the scary side, either by their choice of pictures, or their one-word descriptions. Sadly, there are lots of these swinger dating profile disasters out there.
To get the most out of your subscription, (most you have to pay a sign-up fee for) you need to make the right impression.
Having one close up intimate picture as your profile photo will not offer a very accurate representation of who you are and what you are looking for.
Not only can I help you to create a profile other swingers will love to read, but also, I will teach you how to respond and send messages.
Making contact with other swingers can be difficult, especially if you are a single guy, wanting to contact couples. Sometimes knowing how to write to them can prove a real challenge!
On the flip side, knowing how to reply to an email or message you receive can be equally as difficult. It can be hard to write a response that is an appropriate fit. Luckily I can make sure you are well prepared in your response and able to impress even the pickiest of couples. I will advise you as to what you should and shouldn't be sending and what rules you should always follow when responding to messages. You want to avoid putting certain things and a few different ways to style out your answers if you would like to decline their offer politely.
If You Are Established Swingers
Understanding the importance of reconnection, reflection, and non-sexual intimacy are things that I have perfected over the years
It's not just newbies that seek out my help and advice. I can offer my expertise, knowledge and know-how to established swinger couples. Over time how you may feel about swinging; your expectations and desires may well change. Becoming curious about new ways to enjoy Ethical Non-Monogamy is perfectly normal. I, for one, can personally vouch for this! By experiencing a range of different situations and encounters, you develop an understanding of what you enjoy and perhaps don't want.
At times, the emotions associated with these new experiences can leave us feeling confused or unsure about our lifestyle involvement. By sharing what you are experiencing, I can shed some light on moving forward within your relationship or on an individual level.
Learning how to reconnect after swinging is a crucial step and one that I believe is fundamental to your swinger experience. Understanding the importance of reconnection, reflection, and non-sexual intimacy are things that I have perfected over the years to ensure that my relationship or self-awareness (if I have been single) is prioritised. I will guide and support you with reconnecting, to teach you how swinging can strengthen your relationship.
Non-Judgemental Advice And Support
I often write about taking people on a journey from 'Nervous Newbie to Swinger Success'. For some people, getting started in the lifestyle is relatively straightforward, whereas for others, getting involved in the swinger scene requires some preparation and planning.
With this in mind, I want to ensure my readers benefit from having access to a non-judgmental community. A place where people can talk freely and share their fears and fantasies. We are all different and all have different expectations, after all, one man's orgy is another man's obstacle!
People contact me who have never swung before or are in relationships where one partner is curious, and the other is not. I would never expect those who don't want to get involved in the lifestyle to simply go along with it, and instead, I offer solutions and support for both partners.
Join My Community!
If you want to be part of a like-minded, kink and swinger friendly community, you can also join my member's groups on Discord. Get access to exclusive offers, swingers party news, and join the swinger social scene! It's completely free to sign up and members are certified by me! 🙂 use this link to get started! x